Once more, the eldritch terrors are gathering,
attracted to an unprecedented amount of chaos in our cosmos.
Trivial as they are, the witches, mortals, and infernals
must be allowed an opportunity to restore order themselves.
If they fail, however, I will, if necessary, negate Sabrina.
So, to be clear, you want the cafeteria
to serve waffle fries instead of tater tots?
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can't it be both?
Could not have said it better myself.
And as your newly elected co-presidents,
Roz and I promise to try and get you those, uh, potato options you want, James.
Next up...
Milo.
Is Milo Moloch here?
- Yeah, I'm here. - Hi, Milo. How can we help you?
Yeah, so I'm here representing the Astronomy Club.
Uh, and basically, we need money.
This telescope we had broke last semester,
and despite numerous requests,
we haven't gotten any funds to repair or replace it.
First of all, we'll see what we can do about increasing your budget.
Yeah. If you give that telescope to me, my cousin might be able to fix it.
He's, uh, sort of a savant.
Thank you.
Okay, cool.
So, who's next?
I think it's my turn.
I implore you again.
Tell me what the next eldritch terror will be so that we may prepare for it.
Oh, you'll find out soon enough...
when it's devouring your putrid soul.
Has he told us anything of use yet?
- Not a syllable. - Ah.
You don't have to tell us your secrets, Father.
We can pry them from your brain ourselves.
What, with your feeble psychic abilities, Daughter?
You could try.
A locked safe. That's all.
Not to worry though.
There are other ways of opening you up.
Lilith, can I come in, darling?
Go away. Leave us be.
Well, close the door before something comes in after you.
Um...
Lil...
Lilith, uh...
We adore having you here. We... we do.
- Um... - Yes?
It's just, um, you haven't left this room in days.
I must protect Adam at all costs.
Yeah, of course.
So, um, do you have a plan?
Yes. I shall remain in this room, biding my time until Adam's 16th birthday,
when he comes of age, becomes a man,
and challenges and defeats his father to claim the throne.
Making me...
Queen Mother.
Uh, so you... So, your plan is to stay in this room for 16 years?
I've waited a millennia to claim the Throne of Hell.
I can wait a little bit longer.
Care to explain yourself, Nick?
Maybe start by telling me why you're dressed like a Baxter High jock?
I just transferred here.
What? Why?
Maybe because you've been avoiding me ever since I told you how I felt.
Oh, right, when you all of a sudden declared
that we were end-game.
Look, I can understand why you'd be dubious
after everything I put you through, but... you're it for me.
You hurt me, Nick.
You really, really hurt me,
and I'm not over it.
I understand.
Look, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately
about our relationship,
and I realized something.
One of the reasons we weren't able to fully commit was...
I was fully committed.
One of the reasons I wasn't able to commit
was because I never spent any time in your world.
And you were a sex addict.
You split your time between Baxter High and the Academy,
and I think it's only fair that I do the same.
I know I wanna be a part of your world.
Oh, calm down, Ariel. That is not how public school works.
You need a file, previous report cards.
I sat down with Mrs. Meeks this morning, and one simple spell of persuasion later,
and you're looking at an official Baxter High junior,
not to mention a member of the LGBTQ Alliance
and captain of the wrestling team.
- Hey, brother. - What's up?
- See you on the mat? - Yeah, you know it, Billy.
Good guy, Billy.
You know what, Nick?
Who am I to tell you where you can and can't go to school?
But just know this.
Just 'cause you're ready to get back together,
doesn't mean that I am.
I need time.
I'll wait.
However long it takes.
Was that an earthquake?
In Greendale?
- Oh... - What the heaven?
If there's one thing that was made very clear
during our royal tour of the Nine Circles, it's that Hell is not working.
Not working in what way?
For starters, too many souls suffering for no reason.
Overcrowding could easily be solved by say...
annexing the mortal realm into a new Tenth Circle.
Babe, again, it's not happening.
Course Greendale would be exempt, my lady.
New rule. One soul in, one soul out.
For every new sinner, we release one of the souls burning down here
for lame stuff like eating shellfish or wearing polyester.
We gotta let them go.
By the by, where is Lilith?
- Um, uh... - Sacred vessel of my unholy seed?
Where did you say she'd gone, Lord of Flies?
Um, uh, uh...
Billy? Lizzie?
Wh-where... where are we?
Shall we skin them alive and sup on their flesh, my queen?
Sabrina? What is going on?
Nothing, Lizzie. I promise.
I am just gonna go ahead and wipe your memory
of the last 60 seconds and send you back home.
Okay?
Oh, there you are. Where'd you go?
Doesn't matter. Don't answer it. There we are.
Drink your milkshakes before they melt.
Broken objective lens and shattered eyepiece.
I could, perhaps, fix the telescope...
just as soon as we've halted the eldritch terrors
and not died unspeakable deaths.
I'm sorry, Cousin, but I feel as if we are living under the Sword of Damocles.
Truthfully, I admire your ability
to compartmentalize your life expertly, but I'm...
Not so expertly.
Nick transferred to Baxter High.
Hmm.
Gives Don Juan a run for his money, young Nicholas does.
Yeah, then there's that earthquake earlier today.
- What earthquake? - Didn't you feel it?
There was a creature right there.
No, you didn't see a creature, Theo. You saw a hobgoblin.
You...
You saw one of my friends.
You can come out now.
Uh...
Theo... Theo, this is Moth.
Um...
Hi.
You said he'd be asleep.
He usually is.
- Robin, what the hell is going on? - Theo, I can explain.
- What the hell, Moth? - Relax, Puck.
You taught me that trick, remember? Now come on.
Ambrose, was that you?
There was a rumbling and an eruption as that burst through the ground.
Cousin, why does that figure look so familiar?
Because you've seen it before in Hell.
Ambrose, between the stalagmites I told you about and now this,
could this be another eldritch terror attacking?
No, it doesn't... it doesn't feel like that.
This feels almost...
geological,
tectonic, perhaps elemental.
Or could this be the infernal invasion that Hell has so often threatened us with?
No. Sabrina would have told me.
What can this mean?
Perhaps it's a declaration of war.
The witches have turned to Hecate.
It's a sign, Beelzebub.
But maybe I should go to the mortal realm and check in on everyone.
No.
I have a better idea.
Prudence? What's going on?
Weird Sister, you are needed for a special mission
related to the eldritch terrors.
Right now? But I have to go to school.
No, you're not going to school today.
You are going to Hell on Earth.
Ew!
Oh!
What is that smell?
Uh, I believe it's coming from that.
My father's corpse.
Oh my God.
Wait.
Are those...
Judith.
Judas?
Spellman Sisters' Mortuary?
Brina, uh...
there was an earthquake,
and then goat demon rock came out of the ground.
- What the hell should I do? - Nothing. Just don't touch it.
Um, Ambrose and I are on our way.
- It happened at Harvey's house too. - We need to get on this.
These may only be precursors to a much larger eruption.
Oh no.
Oh, for the love of LaVey!
It's getting worse by the second.
Chérie, it is Marie.
Come to the observatory at once. There is something you must see.
What is it?
It's Mambo Marie. We have to get to the Academy now.
What does it mean?
It means the infernal realm is pushing into the mortal realm or vice versa.
Of course this makes perfect sense now. The earthquakes, the tremors...
I know what you're gonna say.
That somehow I'm responsible for what's happening.
No, not just you.
You and your infernal twin are responsible.
I told you this would happen.
Two Sabrinas should not, could not exist simultaneously.
On top of which you met. Despite my previous warnings, you met.
And now the Earth and Hell are falling into each other.
But why?
Probably to crush one or both of you and obliterate this anomaly.
And no. Before you ask,
no, we cannot keep this from the aunties and deal with this ourselves.
- There are two realms at stake... - Ambrose.
Mm-hmm?
I understand...
and you're right,
but I wanna be the one to tell the aunties.
It's my secret.
I've been the one keeping it. I should be the one to tell them.
So, you're saying you're going to own up to everything you've done?
- Mm-hmm. - Actually take responsibility for it?
And who knows? Maybe Aunt Zee will be less mad if the news comes from me.
Aunt Zelda? There's something I need to tell you,
but we should probably call Aunt Hilda first.
So, it's true?
Morningstars, would you please clear the room?
Hilda and I would like a word alone with our niece.
Of course.
I'd love to learn more about my former home.
I'm told it's a temple for Hecate now.
Certainly feel the softer, more feminine energies.
Good luck.
Ironically, I was literally coming to tell you the truth.
I've already heard the truth from Lucifer, who unbelievably lies less than you do.
The fact that there are two of us has saved the coven on multiple occasions.
How many times have I been talking to her but thinking that I was talking to you?
And don't tell me that it hasn't happened.
Escape to Witch Mountain isn't the only Disney movie I've seen.
I'm extremely familiar with The Parent Trap as well.
Oh, loved that growing up.
Just once, when we were having a dance party.
Who else knew?
Besides the entirety of Hell? Who else in this realm?
Aunt Zee, please.
I don't wanna lie to you.
Oh, I think it's a bit late for that, my love. Isn't it?
But I also don't wanna get anyone else in trouble.
Ambrose.
Ambrose Spellman, you come here right this instant.
You knew? You knew the entire time, and you didn't say a word?
Aunties, please.
The only reason Ambrose kept it a secret was because I made him.
Oh, you made him. A 16-year-old girl forced a 134-year-old man to lie.
Is that what happened, Ambrose? Did Sabrina bully you?
Uh...
I had the most bizarre dream last night.
You were in it, and then some weirdo girl, like, climbed out from under the bed.
That wasn't a dream, Theo.
One of my old friends from before I was with the pagans
came and visited last night.
Is this one of your hobgoblin friends?
Um...
What did she want?
Hobgoblins, fay folk, fairy folk,
we feel things that others can't.
And according to Moth, there's some really bad stuff coming.
Probably connected to the eldritch terrors.
Anyway, the hobgoblins are leaving the mortal realm
for the fay realm for good...
and they want me to come with them.
Wait. Wait. Does...
Does that mean you're leaving?
Maybe.
And maybe you should come with me.
Thar she blows.
Hecate, the Triple Goddess, I've never quite understood her appeal.
Three women at the same time?
There is something intriguing about that, Lord Lucifer.
Can it with the casual misogyny.
Show some respect.
Mm.
Sabrina, there you are.
- Lucifer. - Nicholas.
What a nice surprise.
Screw you. Hey.
Nick, why are you dressed like a Baxter High jock?
'Cause I was there looking for you.
Why are you wearing a red headband and hanging out with these tools?
What did you call us?
Nick, before you say anything else...
No, before you say anything else, I need you to hear me, okay?
I'm crazy about you, Spellman.
But if you tell me that it's over,
if you tell me that there's no hope for us getting back together,
then I... I will... I will leave you alone.
But if there's even a chance, even a one percent chance
that you might one day forgive me and wanna be with me,
then I'll wait.
So just tell me, Spellman.
Is it over?
Or is there even a tiny chance...
that I can undo the biggest mistake of my life?
Nick, I'm not who you think I am.
I'm the other Sabrina you're gonna find out about pretty soon.
But I think there's definitely a one percent chance she'll take you back.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I think Aunt Zee's probably done berating Sabrina by now.
Well, Judith and Judas are quite comfortable in a sealed bedroom.
Now you're going to tell us everything you know about the eldritch terrors.
And in return, we shall reacquaint your head
with your rotting meat sack.
I have no use for my body,
and you won't need yours either once the remaining terrors arrive.
They'll feast on your flesh.
Somehow we thought you'd say that.
And now you forget, girls, I bear the Mark of Cain.
I cannot be killed.
Quite right.
You cannot be killed,
but you can still feel pain, can you not?
Like when people say they can still feel missing phantom limbs.
Hmm.
No.
Excellent. Excellent.
We'll have some fun with this now, won't we, Father?
And you'll tell us all about your good friends...
the eldritch terrors.
- Oh, I should probably go to school. - Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
All right then.
Now that we've all calmed down...
We know the problem.
The existence of two Sabrinas has caused a...
A paradox.
Catastrophic anomaly forcing our realms to crash into each other.
- But why? - Don't you see?
Chaos begets chaos.
A chain reaction has begun that won't stop
until the realms are wholly crushing each other.
What if we killed a Sabrina?
If one of us did die,
would that fix things?
Not necessarily.
The mortal and infernal realms are attracting each other.
It wouldn't be enough to just stop them. You'd...
We need to push them away from each other.
I've got a crazy idea.
Even crazier than two Sabrinas.
Mr. Scratch, how long have you been lurking there?
Long enough to tell you that no one's killing any Sabrina.
What's your crazy idea, warlock?
I'll talk in small words so you can understand me.
Do you know what happens when two magnets are close to each other?
Depending on the polarity, they'll attract or repel each other.
Exactly. The mortal realm has a magnetic field.
So does the infernal one.
Opposites attract.
But if we could reverse the realms' polarities,
maybe they'd repel each other.
Hmm.
But how do we do that?
That's easy.
We Parent Trap the realms.
Order of Hecate, you stand at the epicenter of Hell.
Morningstars, you stand at the epicenter of the mortal realm.
Now summon your opposing energies.
We call upon you, Maiden, Mother, and Crone,
imbue your dark power into this infernal throne.
We call upon Hell and its most unholy hordes.
I gift this realm my power, the darkest of the dark lords.
The realms' energies are aligning.
It is working, but the realms are so enmeshed.
It is like...
Conjoined twins.
We may succeed in separating them, but we could destroy both in the process.
Stop. Stop the invocation.
Stop the invocation immediately!
We must regroup and think of something else.
I've been thinking, Robin.
Um...
I can't go to the fay realm with you.
I can't leave my dad, and my friends, and school.
Theo, you won't be safe here.
I've never run away from a fight in my life.
Okay.
Then I'm not going either.
What? Is... is it raining?
Sounds like it's pouring cats and dogs.
That's not rain, Hilda. That's hail.
Perfect. Now it's hailing.
It's not hail, Directrix Spellman.
Behold.
- Those are pearls. - Hmm?
It's raining pearls.
How can that be?
The Pearly Gates.
Merciful Merlin!
Heaven, the celestial realm, is being dragged into this mess
and falling on top of us.
Which means that the False God
will be sticking his nose into our affairs sooner rather than later.
I despise when he does that.
And yet all you do is give him cause, bringer of light.
And, uh, who... who might you be, friend?
An eldritch terror perhaps?
No.
They are an angel
of the highest celestial order...
as close to the False God as I once was.
I am Metatron, born Enoch.
I represent order.
There is an unprecedented amount of chaos in this cosmos.
Left to your own devices, there would only be more.
So I come to you with a solution,
a method to restore order.
For the cosmos to survive,
one Sabrina must die.
Which Sabrina?
Either.
They both contain the same number of molecules.
Choose one.
That's ridiculous. We couldn't possibly choose.
- We can't choose one, obviously. - No, that doesn't...
Silence!
Sorry.
There is yet one other solution.
The two Sabrinas can merge into one
so that only one single entity remains.
Merge?
What do they mean, "merge"?
Two cells fusing.
Surely... surely, there are risks to this?
The risks are inconsequential.
They have two distinct souls.
If you combine them,
won't one absorb the other like twins in the womb?
And what if only one's memory survives?
Or neither's does?
Are those our only options?
Death or a merge?
Correct.
Maybe...
Maybe merging is not so bad.
Who would we even be? Would we be either of us?
Maybe it'll be like how it was before there were two of us.
And the realms will be preserved.
And no one would die because of us.
You know, in some way, it'll be like we're together forever.
And what happens now?
Okay.
I think we go in there,
and we tell Metatron that we'll agree to the merge.
But first, we need some time... to wrap things up.
I've been spending all these months in Hell.
If you don't mind, I'd love to spend some time with your... or our friends.
Yeah, totally. Will you tell them what's happening?
I don't think so.
I want a day that's just fun,
that's not tragic.
I don't even know what I'd do with my last day.
I have an idea, but first, I've gotta tell you
about this fascinating conversation I had earlier with Nick.
We have an announcement to make.
This mess is our fault.
We won't be responsible for countless deaths
of witches, mortals, and infernals.
- So we're going to do it. - We're gonna merge.
S-Sabrinas,
are you sure?
I am, Auntie.
We're taking responsibility for our actions.
No, I don't support this.
No, there's... there's... there's another way.
There's... there's always another way, right?
Ambrose, will you fix that telescope and give it to Roz?
That telescope will be the alpha and omega of my legacy at Baxter High.
Yeah, of... of course, Cousin.
Another final request, Metatron.
We want one last day as ourselves
to enjoy it as we see fit.
You have six hours.
You may enter.
What is it now, Hilda?
Oh, well, I just, um...
I, um... I finally got a chance to come down and tell you.
Um...
- He's here. - Who's here?
- Who? - Lucifer.
He's at the Academy. I just thought you would wanna know.
Right. Um...
So, shall we pack up a few things, and we'll get you out of here before...
- No. - No?
I can't keep running, Hilda.
I must face him, talk to him.
Here.
Take Adam.
Hide him.
- Okay. - Keep him safe.
And send His Lordship in, will you?
- Are you really sure? - Yes.
So this is where you've been keeping yourself, Lilith.
A temple of Hecate.
Oh, she was the goddess of witches, and I was the first witch.
And our newly born son? Where is he?
Spirited away where you'll never find him.
Lilith,
this is not a fairy tale.
When I leave this realm, I will be taking my son.
Caliban sent two kings to kill me.
Didn't you, Caliban?
The wench lies.
I couldn't care less...
about you.
I promised you death should you betray me.
I should kill you now. But I won't make you a martyr to our son.
A son needs his mother.
How absurd you are!
As Romulus and Remus suckled on the teat of a wolf,
so our son shall suckle on the teat of a hellhound.
Toughen him up and all that.
And he'll have his father to teach him how to be king.
Retrieve him.
Make sure he's ready for his trip to Pandemonium.
You have six last hours to spend with Adam.
Enjoy them.
Guys, crazy idea.
What if we play hooky today?
- Don't you play hooky basically every day? - That is fair.
But not with you guys.
And today's kind of important.
What'd you have in mind?
Something I've never done with you guys before.
So, Spellman, why did you want me to meet you here?
Nick.
Knowing that I might not be myself for much longer,
there's a few things I need to say to you before it's too late.
Even after everything that's happened between us...
I miss you...
so much.
And I heard what you said to me. Well, to me and the other me. You...
You know what I mean.
And when I search my heart...
that one percent chance you were talking about?
It's now.
Don't worry, little Adam.
Oh.
It'll be all right.
He'll never have you.
Never.
No matter what it takes.
What the hell?
- You're ruining his life. - Whose?
Robin's.
He's one of us. He belongs with us.
He's as fast as lightning and can run on freaking rainbows.
He'll live for thousands of years, but not if he stays with you.
Every day spent in this doomed realm,
cut off from the faykind, he gets a little weaker.
Eventually, he won't be a hobgoblin at all.
Everything that makes him special will be gone.
Let him go, mortal...
for his sake.
And voilà!
Good as new, that.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No.
We're supposed to rule Hell together.
What will happen to us now?
If I don't come back the same,
I guess you'll have to torture all those souls without me.
That was a joke.
Thank you for loving me.
Once was not enough.
Come back to me, Spellman.
Enough chaos.
Let the merge begin.
Sabrinas, close your eyes
and invite the darkness of space into yourselves.
Imagine yourselves floating, weightless.
Empty yourselves of your troubles, your identities,
your souls.
Let yourselves go.
Release and surrender to my voice.
I will transform and transmute you into one.
Stop!
Stop the ritual!
Ambrose, what is it?
Aunt Zelda, it is much bigger than we could have ever imagined.
Everything we've experienced is a mere prelude to our annihilation.
There are three new realms approaching... on a collision course with our own.
Sorry. It's, what, three new realms? How's that... What?
They are the next eldritch terror,
bearing down upon us, causing these tremors,
promising our extinction.
They are horrors from the stars,
the Cosmic...
which is why it is strange
that our celestial friend here did not know about it.
Unless they did.
They just chose not to share it with us.
Had you known of the duplicate cosmos, there was an 83% chance
you would have tried to preserve both Sabrinas' lives.
- Damn straight. - And yet,
the probability of those efforts being successful
would be approaching zero.
You would only have birthed more chaos.
The merge must proceed,
or the rogue cosmos will destroy three realms.
Oh, wait a second.
What's the probability of the merge succeeding?
Fifty-six percent.
Those are terrible odds.
What was your backup plan?
One or both Sabrinas must die.
- Step away from my niece. - And my daughter.
Don't even think about it.
It is statistically the only way.
Order must be restored!
No! Sibling, stop!
You forget. We are both celestials. Do not force my hand.
There will be order at all costs.
Then you leave me no choice.
Or... der.
Well, did the merge work?
Behold, the latest eldritch terror, the Cosmic,
as foretold by Harvey Kinkle's sketch.
There are three duplicate realms approaching our own.
The infernal, the mortal, the celestial.
The existence of two Sabrinas in our cosmos has...
brought about the existence of a parallel cosmos
that is hurtling towards ours, being pulled towards ours by the Sabrinas.
However, I do have a simple idea
as to how we might stop this other cosmos from crashing into our own.
We could possibly avert this deadly impact
and cause the eldritch cosmos to dissipate
by sending one Sabrina from our Earth to the other Earth.
Like an offering
or a sacrifice.
Sabrina Morningstar must go. She's clearly the lesser Sabrina.
- Oh, Auntie, that's not true. - Sabrina Spellman is correct.
- She is by far the lesser Sabrina. - But, Dad...
- Excuse me? - Come on. Stop.
We are both equally responsible for this.
Yeah, exactly.
So we'll decide who goes, fair and square.
Sabrina Spellman and Morningstar have decided upon their preferred method
of decision making.
Rock, paper, scissors.
On three.
- One. - Two.
Three.
Spellman wins.
Morningstar must go.
No. I refuse.
The child, my child, stays with me.
Dad, please. Stop.
You always said you wanted me to bring honor
to the House of Morningstar.
What kind of queen would I be if I let all my subjects die?
How will we get me to the other cosmos?
A rocket?
No, Nicholas and I, we'd open up a wormhole in a mirror,
and you would step through it.
Hey, babe.
Sorry I'm late. I...
I...
Theo?
Are you okay?
You need to go...
Robin...
with the other hobgoblins.
You need to go with them.
You can't stay here
and give up everything that makes you, you.
Did something happen?
I don't want you here.
I don't want you here. Go.
I love you, Theo.
Leave your window unlocked.
And one night, I'll... I'll come back through it.
I promise.
I love you too.
Go.
Please.
Honor your promise to me, Caliban.
I will, my lady.
I don't even know what to say.
Say...
Say you'll see us soon.
I'll see you soon.
Ready, Cousin?
What will the other universe be like?
If not an exact copy, very close to our own.
We call upon the universe, shift your paradigm.
Split apart the fabric of space and time.
Sabrina, is that you?
There you are.
Where were you? We were getting worried.
Not me. I haven't been worried since bottomless mimosas.
What happens now, Ambrose?
We wait
and pray that the sky stops falling on us.
- Didn't Metatron say that the chances... - Metatron did not know the future.
Nor did the angel account for hope... and love.
The child,
hand him over.
The time has come, Lilith.
Give me my son.
Why don't you sit for a while,
like you used to? Have a bite to eat.
I've already lost one child today. I will take the other with me presently.
Lilith?
You once cooked me a special meal.
My lover, Adam.
I named our son after him.
What have you done, Lilith?
Medea was a witch. Did you know that?
I freed our son, and I freed myself.
Rather he die than be raised by you.
And as for me,
well,
kill me
as promised, please.
Do it, I beg you.
Do it, please. I beg you.
You will not die for this outrage, Lilith,
but you will suffer.
- I curse you, witch, with humanity. - What?
You are stripped of your powers
and banished from Hell to walk on Earth the rest of your days.
You will age.
You will grow weak as all mortals do.
You will know strife.
You will know sickness, disease, pain,
but you will not die.
You will writhe in grievous guilt for the choice you have made today,
and you will wish desperately for death, for release,
but it will never come.
No! Wait.
Wait!
Wait! Wait!
Father,
we know what the next eldritch terror is.
The Cosmic.
Yes, child.
So you're going to tell us how to stop it...
or my next needle...
goes in through your ear.
Sabrina.
- You thinking about her? - Hmm.
Oh, look.
A falling star.
Star light, star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.
That Sabrina be safe.
That we all be safe.