Listen up!
Guys, it's payrolls tomorrow.
Can we make sure we're not taking lunch
off the desk, please.
If the labor market somehow contrives to give us
eight years of Trump, I don't know what I'll do.
-Probably nothing.
I've built an indicators monitor.
Weekly jobless claims, credit card arrears,
Google searches for vacancies,
are all rolling over.
Good edge.
I'll circulate it.
It's a finger in the air,
-but definitely something.
-I like it. Cool.
Oh, hey, uh, HR's been in touch.
They're having some issues with your Tier 2 visa.
-I'm gonna look into it.
-I can do that.
No, let... let me do it.
Unless you wanna go home?
Because I can arrange that.
I know you're going to hate this.
-Oh, please don't sing.
-Oh, I wasn't going to.
I can't look at a birthday candle
without thinking about Robert Herrick.
Nobody knows who that is.
Who the fuck is Robert Herrick?
Don't worry about your visa.
You're the right kind of immigrant.
Happy birthday.
We're living in an era of woke capitalism, right?
I'm Nike. I pretend to care about Black people.
You pretend to hate capitalism
and buy my trainers.
- "Nike-ee."
Nike, but... So do you, like, pre-rehearse
these little nuggets?
Oh, my gosh.
-Yeah.
What is this Blue Peter thing?
I was gonna give it to her at work,
but I knew people like you would judge me.
I would judge you, but I'm trying to be
-less egocentric now.
-Right.
Everyone, this is the last of it.
-Can I keep this for the wank bank?
I actually wrote a paper on
the moral case for capitalism.
That must've been short.
No. It was 8,000 words.
All right, birthday girl gets two. Enjoy.
That's top tier ski wear, that is.
-How many left?
Uh... one.
This is like that scene in Notting Hill
where they try and work out... What, with...
With the brownies? Okay, well...
Hey, so, I'm not trying to be a Luddite,
and I know you'll hardly ever use it,
but I think it's kinda nice to see the future
in tiny little boxes.
All my friends are getting married!
Okay, well, yeah, there you go.
Who can argue with that?
I know today's hard for you.
I know you must be thinking about your brother.
It's personalized, so you better like it.
-Can't return it, 'cause...
Yeah, it's yours now...
You guys call this "seshing"?
Uh, yeah, It's like, um...
a session.
Why?
It's, like, as big a cultural touchstone
as, I guess, anything.
And I... I use that term in a nongendered way.
Dude, I... I get it. Thanks.
Okay. Um.
Enjoy the kitchen.
I'll watch.
My boyfriend's filled our apartment
with these cheese plants.
The brochure said we should name them.
They pulled out names from a hat at his work.
-Sorry if I'm interrupting.
-Interrupting what?
It's an IPA.
Harper, I've booked us an Uber.
Nah, we're gonna have one more.
We've only got that student drive tomorrow.
Are you sure, Harper?
Nothing good ever happens past 2 a.m.
Everything good happens past 2 a.m.
This music sounds like a fucking car alarm.
Yeah, Thatcher tried to ban it,
so you're dancing on her grave.
All right, yeah, can you come for one?
Yeah, okay, no, two... Yeah, two's fine.
Um, yeah, mate, same postcode.
Can I have one K on tick?
And a couple round ones?
Ta. Cheers. See you in a bit.
I'm changing the music.
The tyranny of choice.
Got Gus on the desk now, which is good.
-So got a... got a mate.
-Great.
It's nice to be working with him, you know?
-Is it nice?
-He gets me, and, uh... And he looks after me,
and I look after him.
Yasmin fucking offered me a place to live,
and, like, that was really fucking cool.
Like, she didn't have to do that.
Is that a fucking joke, is that a joke?
About myself, you know, like,
about myself. Like, I can... Yeah. Bonjour.
-What do you do at work?
-At my desk?
-Mmm.
Uh, they won't let me on the phones.
I'm not taking it personally at the moment.
-Right.
-I'm just sort of going with it.
Have you ever had K?
Ket? Ketamine?
It sort of makes you feel a little bit legless,
a little bit wobbly.
I mean, you've never had any before so, like...
You get like a new perspective... To be honest,
I literally can't see anything.
Got to do it in style.
If it's your debut, it's your first time...
You look like fucking Elton John.
-We're like different people.
-Who are you talking about?
I hope you're overwhelmed.
Yeah, like... -I'm just saying,
I'd be overwhelmed.
-You don't wanna talk about it!
-Yeah, man, I'm just, um... -No, not really.
I get it.
Goldman Sachs?
It's Robert Spearing.
That's what I'm saying, bro, like... I mean...
-Honestly?
-Yes!
-Fifty fucking thousand quid.
-I'll have five cents.
I don't know, my friends are,
like, cool and nice, whatever.
-I mean, I'm just so focused...
I'm with you there.
- on work right now, like... Me too.
Uh, stop. No, stop.
-I'm sorry.
-It's fine.
No, I'm sorry.
You know...
-You can tell I want to... -It's fine.
It's not a good idea anyway.
You know, it's just...
with me and Yasmin, with... with whatever's...
happening there.
I didn't know that anything was happening there.
Dad and I really hope you're going to make it back
for Thanksgiving.
Oh, I saw on Instagram that
Todd's got rid of his little ho.
I'm not saying reach out, but maybe reach out.
Okay, bye.
People are missing the move.
Gregory, you smell like a brewery, mate.
No, I think that's Robert.
Robert, you smell like a brewery, mate.
I think it's Greg.
Harper, it's Duncan Hixe in middle office.
Can you call me as soon as you get this
in order to discuss something urgent?
The market is backstopped like...
Harper, you coming?
But you can't go to the drive.
Harper, you can't represent us
like this... in this condition.
It was a chance to represent
the firm in front of Sara.
Remember, this place is bigger than one desk.
I mean, I want to, but that's on tomorrow.
Yeah, wing it.
At minimum... find a replacement.
-And please, take a shower.
He's so bear-ish.
It'll be good for your internal profile.
They're, like, a component of
the 360s they do pre-RIF day.
What is it?
It's like a corporate spiel for college kids.
Yas, go. It's not like you're on the phones,
and you're a great advert for the firm.
Or maybe you could go, Tash?
Actually, that would require you to speak.
I love you. I love my gift.
You weren't in your room this morning.
Yeah, Rob kept me up.
Fine. But I've booked us spin.
And I've already paid for you, so.
There's a pungent smell of wine in this area,
which hitherto was absent.
On your bike, Yas.
Sell the firm.
Come on, Kenny.
This is Bloomberg Daybreak.
I'm Alix Steel.
It is 7:30 a.m. on... Duncan?
Yeah?
Reports the worst month since 2013... -Harper.
-Ah! The elusive Harper.
Hi, sorry, sorry, crazy morning.
How can I help?
Forwarded you a time stamp on a mismatched trade.
-Allerton Capital.
-What's the issue?
There's a discrepancy on the notional.
Graduates have done this before,
so I just need to check.
Did you buy the right currency?
You booked 50 quid, Allerton are confirming
50 dollars. Which is it?
Sterling. Uh, quid.
Allerton's confirmation says it's a dollar amount.
It definitely wasn't.
Call the client.
I'm sure he'll rectify.
It's probably their mistake.
If it's yours, I need to know ASAP.
Do I need to tell my manager?
Is this, uh, a serious issue?
Absolutely you should.
Not telling him is not acceptable.
Okay. I'll... I'll fix it.
Listen, if anyone wants me, fucking I.M. me.
Stop ringing my line!
No, exactly.
I was just going to flag that...
I'm not gonna hold your hand.
Contrary to popular belief, I am not God!
A load of our economists clamoring over each other
to be wrong on the direction of Europe...
Allerton Capital.
-It's Harper from Pierpoint.
Um, I was hoping to speak with Aubrey.
Putting you through.
Aubrey speaking.
How is your wife coping with the sleep apnea?
It's less about how she's coping,
more about how I'm coping.
Just checking, you got my Bloomie
with our NFP preview?
Yeah, I don't really read those,
but appreciate the flag.
Sure. Um, while I have you,
that cable ticket that we did,
middle office is saying
that you booked 50 dollars.
Well, that's because I did.
No, you booked 50 sterling.
Are we seriously having this conversation?
We can pull the tapes on the trade
and listen to the audio, but it would mark a first
in my 20-year career.
Does Daria know you're calling me?
I... I'm really sorry.
This is clearly a... brain fry. Um,
I must have misbooked it.
C... Could you amend it on your end?
With the rate where it is?
Why would I eat that for you?
I'm no philanthropist.
Is that all?
Um... Aubrey, I... -I'm sure that we can...
No, I'm sure.
I'm willing to lay this ridiculous request
at the feet of your inexperience,
but if you push me on this,
it will legitimately damage my relationship
with your superiors, and then you'll have
a real problem. Thanks.
Rish, where's street
on the NFP print at 1:30 please?
Uh, consensus is plus 250.
We're at plus 150.
Cassandra, you still think
we're grinding to a halt?
Strong and black, just like me.
How late did you go last night?
Sorry, I can't do this right now.
-Sure.
-Hey.
Do you have anything stronger?
Uh, globalization of trade is...
How many?
Take two and you'll feel
like you're inventing Facebook.
Duncan, client did buy 50 quid.
He's refusing to amend it on his end. He's lying.
Ah. Okay.
Well, let's pull the tapes.
All voice trading's recorded.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I put in extraordinary...
Is there another option?
No. Look, he shouldn't have run you over
just because you're young.
Amend the trade in the system to 50 dollars,
and see what the loss is.
Flew them in on a helicopter.
Isn't that wild?
Oh, no, no. I don't give a...
Okay, I imagine it's quite a hit,
but sell now and at least we've contained it.
Harper?
Is it done? What does it say?
It says it's all squared away.
Good.
I was dreading the team meet.
You... we... We were slow on this one.
When is your meet?
1:30. Just after nonfarm payrolls.
Now, you're sure it's done?
It's done.
Good.
See, no two days are the same, 'cause the market
is always dynamic.
And here we're taught to think like owners.
You manage to make it sound
like a socialist enterprise.
We're on a very aggressive
image rehabilitation drive,
so you might want to put your tie on.
Excuse me.
Don't ask.
I can imagine.
What did you guys get up to?
Ah, um...
Yeah, I really put her in the locker.
Yeah, well, now I'm having
to deal with the fallout, so.
Photoshop.
I doubt they've ever even been in the same room.
Look how much they like each other.
It feels weird to be in a position of power here.
So, what are you gonna do with it?
Hi!
Nice to meet you.
Having a good day? Hi.
Hi.
All I know is I fucked up and the loss is at 50k
right now.
Why don't you just tell Eric?
We have had two of the best P&L days of the year.
I can't just put my hands up
and say that I wiped it out.
Yeah, Eric will flip, but you risk your job
if you don't come clean.
Why did you make me stay up all night?
I didn't make you do anything!
Look, you're his project.
You're allowed to make one mistake.
No, no, actually I'm not.
I'm not allowed to make any mistakes.
People like you are allowed to make mistakes.
What the fuck does that mean?
Mistakes are a privilege.
Okay, yeah, well, the loss is hypothetical.
-In the book? It's live, right?
-Yeah. So?
Well, then, it's not crystallized.
So, surely it can still swing
to the upside or the downside?
If the NFP's under 150k at 1:30 this afternoon...
That's a fucking punt.
No, there's less chance of a Fed rate hike,
which is bad for the dollar.
Sterling surges against dollar,
and my loss is totally offset.
Look, just tell Eric, all right?
You're not thinking properly.
The street's looking for 250k.
You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
So why don't you stick to whatever it is
that you're good at,
and I'll just... I'll be fine.
If you wanna fucking talk
about last night, talk about it.
Otherwise, let's just put a pin in it.
Dude... Please.
I'm moving all kinds of size today. I am the flow.
Yeah, he who talks about
his conquests exaggerates them.
This is the first time I've been on the floor
for the data since the evangelists invaded Iraq.
Normally have a lunch.
Yours is incredibly antisocial.
Things slowing down then?
Published on the whispers
about a new bubble in tech, interest for Kaspar.
Rishi!
Happy to call Usman to run him through the note.
Won't be necessary.
Kaspar tells me he's already
opened a dialogue with Robert.
Maybe we could do dual coverage...
Let's not overdo it, Augustus.
Or I could just back Robert up?
Can't imagine you want to be subordinate to him?
If you have any questions about it,
-just let me know.
Yeah, sure.
Cheers mate, thanks.
-Can I have the note?
What is it?
Why are you ignoring me?
Grow up. I have a girlfriend.
I had interviews at Morgan Stanley,
Nomura, Barclays, and I can count on one hand
the amount of times I was interviewed by a woman,
until I got to Pierpoint.
It was really important for me to see
people like me in positions of responsibility...
I was just curious, why are
there no women on the board?
Uh, we've actually just hired
our first female president.
That's more like a figurehead.
Like, what's it really like being a woman
in this environment?
Not dissimilar to being a man.
You know, there's always banter.
"Banter" sounds like a euphemism.
Well, you have to have a sense of humor.
And men have been hiding behind theirs for years.
Well, you can either stand
on the sidelines and comment,
or you could join us and try and affect change.
I think Yasmin is very capable of navigating
these things herself.
But ultimately... Ultimately, you come here
because it's one of the few workplaces
where nobody cares where you're from.
There are many potential role models here,
and you could be one of them.
I'll have four sugars.
Bit of a bastard behind the eyes. Hungover.
You haven't covered that risk.
Your P&L on that trade is minus 50 thousand.
You're not authorized.
I have to level with you. Um,
I'm still working on the client.
-So you lied to me?
-No, you misunderstood.
I'm just softening them up a bit.
Um, it's their error.
I just need a little more time.
I'm not gonna be held responsible
for your lack of responsibility.
I'm empowered to report this.
It's literally my job.
I just need until 1:30 p.m.
-That would be gross negligence.
-Well, is it illegal?
-No.
-Is it unethical?
-That's muddier.
Well, so we've established that it's not
black and white then... That's not the point.
Look, this is on me.
You can be ignorant.
-Our conversations... They happened.
I don't care about the electronic trail
or the audio trail either.
It's the principle.
Let's be pragmatic.
Having me in your debt makes sense.
I could help you with a move to front office,
I could get you facetime with an MD,
help you with a lateral move, whatever you need.
You wanna get me a job?
Do you even know how long I've worked here?
You're the one facing disciplinary,
but if you wanna keep insulting me,
I'm happy to stay here for a bit longer.
No?
-Just fucking help me!
-Don't...
do that. This is a workplace.
We're colleagues.
I'm... I'm not getting emotional.
I'm barely four months into my career.
I... I'm just asking, colleague to colleague.
Please, Duncan.
1:30 is the absolute limit.
After that, it becomes our managers' problems.
Are we cunts?
You know what I mean, you know, like...
were we that cunty when we did these?
Surely you knew we entered a career that connoted,
you know...
cunty-ness.
Yeah, but I didn't think that
cuntishness was a prerequisite.
I don't need you to speak for me.
I wasn't.
Yeah, well, in my experience,
anyone that calls themselves
a "male feminist" is usually
the villain of the piece.
Yeah, well, I never made that claim.
You know, just, it wasn't all right.
Thanks.
We used to play this game when I was at school.
Sports days, prize-givings, stuff like that.
We'd rate the dads...
talk about which ones we'd snog.
Do you think they're doing that about us?
I reckon I could fuck anyone I want in here.
Not anyone, Robert.
Oh shite, it's her again.
Lure them in young, work them to death!
Fucking murderers!
Party of Davos!
Security!
She just went charging in!
Don't... don't move.
We can't miss the flow.
Save me, Rishi, save me!
-Eric, don't make my job tougher.
We... We'll continue this on the move.
The ways people degrade
themselves to get a promotion.
All right, come on.
Harper, no client is worth being burned alive.
Get. Come on.
-Excuse me, sorry.
Hey!
Mate, glad I'm not running
position into this print.
Harpsichord, anything granular to watch?
Uh... employment rate.
No shit.
Sorry. I'm looking at wage growth too.
What?
I've just spoken to Aubrey at Allerton.
Why did you lie to me?
You're middle office.
You shouldn't be calling clients.
You made a mistake.
So what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Fifteen seconds to the print.
It's gonna be soft.
Then we're clear.
No, Harper. You can't trade your way out of this!
That is unacceptable.
It's reckless.
This is where we are now.
Harper!
Just wait.
The announcement's coming in five.
Big miss on the number.
Plus 120 versus street at plus 250.
What did I say?
Told you.
Okay. Pull up the trade input loss sheet.
-I shouldn't be doing this.
It's already done.
Execute anywhere within ten grand, and you might
get away with this.
This move's one-way traffic.
The print is soft.
I'm running it.
Harper.
Don't fuck around.
Cover that risk now.
Harper!
There's a reason I'm sat here.
Bear with me.
Ivor's buying dollars.
It's fucking Ivor, man!
Storb now too!
First move's always wrong.
Fucking hell, Eric, Ivor is lighting us up, mate.
Of course he is.
He trades with me.
Harper, I am gonna come over your hoot
and broadcast this if you do not execute
at this level now.
It'll come back.
Fucking punch it!
-Fucking wait!
I'm not messing around!
-All good?
-Absolutely. Of course.
Where are you gonna find 140,000 dollars
before the close?
Harper!
Come collect your winnings.
You won!
-Won what?
Traders payroll sweepstake at 250 big ones.
Lucky bitch.
I entered your prediction
for you. You owe me a pint.
Greg, you've done something selfless there.
Somebody should make a note, no?
Yeah, I'll tell my blog.
Probably leave it out as it's so out of character.
Hi. Hi. It's Harper.
Can I run something by you
in person... in person...
It has to be in person, um,
it needs to be pre 4:30, before the close.
Are you okay?
I've never had anyone hate me before.
I need to have a shower.
Do you fancy a bevvy after work?
I have plans with Seb.
You didn't fuck anyone, did you?
So there are gonna be some very, very happy MDs
and some pretty miserable ones.
I think a ton of people got
whiplashed on this NFP print.
Do you think the payroll data
considers Instagram models?
Fuck! I've got another engagement drinks tonight.
Hopefully if I go, they won't
invite me to the wedding.
Yes, there are few things
more common than a wedding.
Like what?
Richard Branson. Skiing
in France. Airline pajamas.
What's wrong with marriage?
Please tell me you're wiser than that.
Well, it's legal now.
So it's an option.
You must be thinking about doing
the honorable thing soon, Theo?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there's no rush. But... I love her,
so I guess it's inevitable.
You're far too young.
Went to Jaspar Conran's wedding.
-Suffice to say it was a party.
-Did you actually go, though?
Or is that just another part
of your life you're lying about?
No time like the present. Yeah.
You ever speak to me like that again,
I'll put you in the fucking ground.
Sorry.
Rishi, Pierpoint...
Look both ways, you twat!
Hail.
I cry your worships' mercy.
I shall desire you of more acquaintance,
good Master Cobweb.
If I cut my finger, I shall make bold with you.
Your name, honest gentleman?
Peaseblossom.
I pray you, commend me
to Mistress Squash, your mother,
and Master Peascod, your father.
Come on.
I shall desire you of more acquaintance too,
Good Master Peaseblossom.
Your name, I beseech you, sir?
Mustardseed.
-Which one's your niece?
Good Master Mustardseed,
I know your patience well.
That same cowardly, giant-like...
Thanks for taking the time to see me.
I promise your kindred...
Every child on that stage is doomed.
I wish my sister wasn't too
proud to take my money and...
drag her out of this shithole.
It seems fine.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
Did me all right, didn't it?
But then I'm not everybody, am I?
Some Labour MP sent his kids
here for "credibility,"
ended up hanging himself
with an orange in his mouth.
Or was that Michael Hutchence?
That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.
I have a really... commercial idea I needed
to put in front of you -pre the close... -Shh.
But not this the man.
The NFP turnaround is pure positioning.
We have a really competitive
short dollar yen option.
I've priced it especially for you.
The rate is locked, but you'll need
to execute pre-close.
Being o'er shoes in blood...
-plunge in the deep...
- and kill me too.
The sun was not so true unto the day...
I once had a Lehman saleswoman
follow me into the toilet
and try and flog me some MBS.
I'll believe as soon
this whole Earth may be bored...
So it's a vanilla currency
option that will lose me money.
So either you think I'm stupid, or you're stupid.
And I know you're not stupid.
The only real currency you ever have
as a salesperson is honesty.
A murderer look, so dead, so grim.
So are you going to tell me
why you're really here?
And so should I, pierced through the heart
-with your stern cruelty.
-I made a mistake.
Yet you, the murderer... I misbooked something,
and made it worse.
-Have you told your boss?
-No.
Well, tell your boss.
It's the only option.
Shut the fuck up!
What's this to my Lysander?
Where is he?
Ah, good Demetrius...
I thought... with your normal
receptiveness to my thinking...
I had rather give his carcass to my hounds.
What are you doing here, Harper?
Drivest me past the bounds of maiden's...
Clear your head, take a second, come clean.
Henceforth be never... Whatever the consequences,
you'll feel relief.
Oh, once tell true, tell true even for my sake.
And I'm willing to forget
about this little intrusion.
Looked upon him being awake...
Don't ever put a price on your dignity.
Thou killed him sleeping? O brave touch.
Could not a worm, an adder, do so much?
Lead him to my bower.
The moon methinks looks with a watery eye,
and when she weeps, weeps every little flower.
You always put so much pressure on yourself.
You know how you get.
Mom, you don't understand.
No matter what I do now, they're going to fire me.
-Uh... I don't know about that.
I'm so fucking stupid.
I don't know why I thought I could do this.
Harper?
Harper!
I really don't know what you want me to say.
-Uh, tell you what, can I get another?
Seb, this is Robert, he's a colleague.
I've heard a lot about you.
You all right?
Hey, man.
I didn't think -Yas spoke about me at work.
Oh, she does.
Sit down, man.
Ah, no, it's all right, don't worry.
You got, um... You got some shit in your hair.
Oh yeah, um... It's just paint.
Yeah, no, I didn't mean you had actual, like...
you know, actual feces in your hair.
Do you want, uh... Do you want a pint?
Um... No, I'm all right.
Actually, um, I can get my own.
-Uh, nice one.
I'll get myself one.
I hooked up with one of the students.
-When?
-Just now.
What happened?
He went down on me.
And when I came in his mouth...
hard...
he looked up at me and he said...
"You taste like a hangover."
That is the least convincing thing
I've ever heard in my life.
Hmm.
I'm gonna take these off
and slip them into your pocket.
You're going to put them on
your face and send me a photo.
Because that's all you're good for.
Okay?
What the fuck.
All right?
Isn't that your best mate from the prospectus?
I've never met her.
Enjoy your evening.
Doors opening.
Doors closing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll meet you straight after.
Can we talk... somewhere private?
You've been so fair to me.
And the opportunities that you've given me...
If I wanted a story,
I'd read Moby Dick. What's up?
I misbooked a trade.
How much?
Hundred and forty thousand dollars.
I called your college today.
We needed a hard copy of
your credentials for the visa.
So I called them.
You realize this makes you
the most under-qualified person I've ever hired?
When I was a summer analyst at Salomon,
my boss...
looked like Newman from Seinfeld.
But... like Newman if he was a linebacker.
He once said to me...
"I used to think if there was such a thing
as reincarnation, I wanted to come back
as the president or pope...
or a .400 baseball hitter.
But now... I want to come back as the bond market.
Because it intimidates everybody."
People like us...
born at the bottom.
Where would you put our percentage chance
of ever making that top quintile?
It's about three percent.
That's intimidating.
We intimidate people here.
Why is that?
Because hunger is not a birthright.
Your qualifications don't have
to be a problem for you.
Because they don't have to be problem for me.
You understand what I'm saying?
What was the final P&L?
Two hundred k.
No, no. It was a 140k loss.
Profit, 200k profit.
I executed for you pre-close.
-Nicole at Mallon Mercer.
It's a hell of a spread she ate.
What did you do?
I went to watch her niece perform Shakespeare.
You... You just coined
jargon for good client service.
I would have never known.
But there are generally two times to tell me
when you've fucked up.
The moment it's fucked,
or the moment it's un-fucked.
Clear?
Clear.
That was the thing with Newman.
He knew from day one he could trust me.
So I trusted him.
He wasn't big on compliments, but...
I heard him compliment me once.
What did he say?
"That little chink's a born salesman."