1 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:32,659 Oh, boy. 2 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,412 Morning, fellas. Sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:40,542 Just needed to clear my head so I decided to, you know, walk to work. 4 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,673 Turns out that clearing and walking in a town you don't know all too well 5 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,631 can be a little tricky. 6 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,051 Ended up getting lost but, you know, then I got unlost, 7 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,551 then I got lost again but... 8 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,262 Well, you know, now I'm here, you know. Beard's here, Nate's here, which is great 9 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,365 because the world can be a sad, lonely place, but... 10 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,598 Hey, come on now, let's get to work, shall we? 11 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,773 Michelle. 12 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:00,274 Which is fine. 13 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,061 You know, it's okay, 'cause it's a great time now for me to, 14 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,855 you know, bury myself in my work here. 15 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,376 And so... Although, I'm not crazy... 16 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,570 I don't love the word "bury," you know what I mean? 17 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,783 It's just got a negative connotation to it, don't it? 18 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,414 What's another word I could say? 19 00:01:13,489 --> 00:01:17,700 Everyone loves a good bath, right? Just a nice warm bath, right? Yeah? 20 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,706 So that's what I'll say. I'll say, "I'm gonna bathe myself in work." 21 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,391 How 'bout that? That's good. That's good. 22 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,165 Nate, you got a favorite bath bomb, buddy? 23 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,301 No, I just don't really enjoy baths, just 'cause my skin gets really wrinkly, 24 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,088 and I'm deeply worried about aging. 25 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,093 Okay, I get that. What about you, Coach? You got a favorite bath bomb? 26 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,256 Crème brûlée honey. 27 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,612 Honey? Is that an ingredient or something you just called me? 28 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,807 - Ingredient. - Shoot. 29 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,598 I was hoping it was the other one. But that's kind of a fun idea. 30 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,942 Maybe we start calling each other little pet names. 31 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,098 You know? Like "honey" or "babe," you know? 32 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,147 It might be nice, right? What do you think, Coach? 33 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,376 Nate, will you do me a favor here? 34 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,569 Will you just help Coach plan practice for today? 35 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,701 - Absolutely. Yeah. - All right. Thank you, sweetie. 36 00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:54,778 Okay, I'll see y'all in a little bit. 37 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,950 - Is he all right? - No. 38 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,597 All right. Shall we? Sarah, why don't you lead us off? 39 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,186 So, Coach Lasso. You finally won your first match. 40 00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:29,362 How's it feel? 41 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,161 Well, Sarah, I believe you can outscore your opponent and still lose. 42 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,235 Just like you can score less than them and win. 43 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,031 But last week we definitely won, which is pretty darn fun. 44 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,538 All right, next question. 45 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,200 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 46 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,156 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 47 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:48,210 Is it safe to assume that Jamie Tartt will be back on the pitch next match? 48 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,883 Well, you know what they say when you assume, Trent? 49 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,843 You make an arse outta you and me. Yeah? 50 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,887 And that right there is another example 51 00:02:56,968 --> 00:03:00,429 of how our English and y'all's English sometimes do not jive, innit? 52 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,188 But are you honestly gonna keep your best player on the bench? 53 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,808 Well, that depends on Jamie. He knows what we need from him. 54 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:11,016 Let's keep it going, yeah? Kip, come on, hit me. 55 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,358 - Ted. Just the man I wanted to see. - Hey, boss. 56 00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:17,364 Your decision to bench Jamie Tartt was very brave. 57 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,486 - Thank you. - I mean, a masterstroke. 58 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,635 I don't think we're allowed to talk like that at work anymore. 59 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,012 There's just one complication now. 60 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,406 Manchester City have called, 61 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,075 and they've inquired about terminating Jamie's loan. 62 00:03:27,456 --> 00:03:29,586 - They're gonna take his house? - No. 63 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,957 Ted, Jamie's contract is owned by Manchester City, 64 00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:35,295 and they, in turn, loaned him to Richmond for the season. 65 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,132 Okay. I get it. 66 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,466 They want Jamie back if you are planning to bench him. 67 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,143 I'm not planning on that. No, my plan is for my plan to work. 68 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,481 But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? 69 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,399 Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. 70 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,608 Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. 71 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,439 Hey, you tell Man City that this man has a plan. 72 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,485 - Plan. Plan. Plan? - Plan. 73 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,990 - Plan? - Not plan. 74 00:03:59,072 --> 00:03:59,951 - Plan. - Plan. 75 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,032 - Plan. - Like "flan." Plan. 76 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,697 Flan? That dessert? 77 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:04,995 Yes, like "flan." 78 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,038 No, I don't dig on flan. 79 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,792 Plan. Plan. 80 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,128 Plan. Plan? 81 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,503 - Word become a sound? - What's that called again? 82 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,125 - Semantic satiation. - Yeah. 83 00:04:16,213 --> 00:04:18,223 Okay. All right. 84 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,721 Is that new kid from Mexico here yet? 85 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,851 - He's getting treatment on his knee. - Okay, good. 86 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,139 - What's his name again? - Dani Rojas. 87 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,434 Yeah. It's a great name. Okay. 88 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,637 How's Jamie doing? 89 00:04:30,394 --> 00:04:31,394 What? 90 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,779 Says he can't practice today. Says he's hurt. 91 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,444 Oh, boy. 92 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,199 Hey, Jamie. 93 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,137 I heard you're not gonna be able to run with us today. That true? 94 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,540 Yep. 95 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,620 Why's that? 96 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,463 'Cause I'm hurt. 97 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,667 Really sorry to hear that. 98 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,759 Relax, Ted. It's just practice. 99 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,557 Hey. 100 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,322 If you can't practice, you can't practice. 101 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,194 If you're hurt, you're hurt. It's as simple as that. 102 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,774 But it ain't about that... at all. 103 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,567 You're sitting in here. You're supposed to be the franchise player. 104 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,536 And yet here we are, talking about you missing practice. 105 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,706 We're talking about practice. 106 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,829 You understand me? Practice. 107 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,379 Not a game. 108 00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:39,050 Not a game. Not the game you go out there and die for. Right? 109 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,733 Play every weekend like it's your last, right? 110 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,047 No, we're talking about practice, man. 111 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,795 Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. 112 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,406 You know you're supposed to lead by example. 113 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,391 You're just shoving that all aside. 114 00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:52,903 And so here we are, Jamie. We're talking about practice. 115 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,557 Not a game. 116 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,646 Not the game. 117 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,899 We're talking about practice, with your team. With your teammates. 118 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,612 The only place we get to play together, we got control over. 119 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,906 Rest of the time it's us 11 against those 11. 120 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,620 We're talking about practice, man! 121 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:12,252 I'm talking about practice! And you can't do it 'cause you're hurt. 122 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,711 Right? 123 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,168 It's fine by me. 124 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:19,838 Tell you what. Do me a favor. 125 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,221 When you get out there, 126 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,757 set up the cones so the other reserves can do a little passing drill. 127 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:28,180 - You want me to set up cones? - I really appreciate it. 128 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,384 - Colin, go set the cones up. - I think he asked you, mate. 129 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,846 Was I talking to you, big man? 130 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,896 Colin, set up the cones. 131 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,728 Isaac's right. He asked you. You are a second-teamer. 132 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:47,987 That's gotta sting. 133 00:06:50,826 --> 00:06:52,117 Cheers. 134 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,334 I must say, it's quite nice seeing Jamie put in his place for once. 135 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:01,259 - Thrilling even, innit? - No, no, no. 136 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,899 This is a no schadenfreude zone, all right? 137 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,973 - Nein schadenfreude. - All right. 138 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,089 The new kid, what's his... Dani what? 139 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,346 - Rojas. - Rojas, yeah. Is he any good? 140 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,908 Came here in the summer transfer window, was immediately injured, 141 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,021 - so no one's really seen him play. - That's okay. 142 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,704 You know, 'cause once Jamie sees someone else playing his position, 143 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,937 you know... I mean, it's gonna hurt his soul. 144 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,685 I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be happy about that. 145 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,160 Okay, let's be sure to help Dani get acclimated, all right? 146 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,488 First time in this league can be very overwhelming. 147 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,707 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 148 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:40,088 Rojas, Dani Rojas! Rojas, Rojas, Rojas! 149 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,499 Hey! Hello, coaches. 150 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:45,548 - Thank you for the opportunity. - Yeah. You are a spirited fella, Dani. 151 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,860 Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay? 152 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:51,754 Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. 153 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,562 Football is life! 154 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:58,937 I like him. 155 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,232 Jamie doesn't. 156 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,146 Chipper dickheads like that can never back it up on the pitch. 157 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,338 Beautiful cross, Sam! 158 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,637 Football is life! 159 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:31,968 Oh, boy. 160 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,017 Did you see that? 161 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:42,442 I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. 162 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,149 Cheers, again. 163 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,614 And some unemployed gaffers are asking if we'll have an opening soon. 164 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,865 Tony Pulis. Alan Curbishley. Harry Redknapp called three times. 165 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:56,753 Hi. I've been up all night doing deep dives on all the players. 166 00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,288 Did you know that Richard was raised on a goat farm? 167 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,212 And that Isaac's mother has two left hands? 168 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,552 And I called a couple of contacts about some sponsorship opportunities. 169 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,208 Even got myself a little work planner. 170 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,216 You couldn't get one without the word "unicorn" written on it? 171 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,470 Fuck off. It's adorable. 172 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:17,471 Sorry, I couldn't help but think how you'd react if I told you to F off. 173 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,822 - That'll be all, Higgins. - Of course. 174 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,282 I'm really glad to see that you're laughing. 175 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,119 I just came by to see if you're okay, really. 176 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,491 Why wouldn't I be? 177 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,951 Oh, Christ. Have you not seen the news yet? 178 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:37,703 I really wanted to be the one to comfort you, not to break it to you. 179 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,366 So, you remember that stunning girl, Bex? 180 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,745 The one that Rupert left with the night of the gala? 181 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,335 Do you really want me to pretend that she wasn't mad fit? 182 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,630 I'd appreciate it. 183 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:52,053 Okay, well. That hideous cow, whose name's Bex, 184 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,144 - which is actually short for... - Rebecca. 185 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,809 Yep, which is also your name, as you know. 186 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,230 So the press is calling her... 187 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,438 "New Rebecca." Shit. 188 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,102 Nope. 189 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:09,191 The press is calling her "Rebecca," and you're... 190 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,360 "Old Rebecca." 191 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,988 - What? - Old Rebecca. 192 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,993 Old Rebecca? 193 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,123 Don't worry about it. You've got this. 194 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,615 And if you ever have a moment, 195 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,126 or if you don't got this, then you just call me, right? 196 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,311 Wow! That was on purpose, yes? 197 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,017 Yeah. Look, mate. 198 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,777 You're good, yeah, but up here, 199 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,278 there's a difference between good and great. 200 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,904 1-1. Your turn, amigo. 201 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,756 Fuck's sake. 202 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,841 Right, watch this then. Left post. 203 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,264 Wow. That was good. 204 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,313 I know. 205 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:26,941 Yeah! 206 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:36,736 I got lucky. 207 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,912 - Again tomorrow, Jamie Tartt? - We'll see. 208 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,162 Football is life! 209 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:47,003 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 210 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,922 Oh, boy. I tell you, man. 211 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:54,341 I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, 212 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,633 ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids. 213 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,347 I mean, Jamie is an ace, right? 214 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,308 You know, whose attitude turned him into a seven of clubs. 215 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,059 So then we bring in another fella to help turn him back into an ace 216 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,102 and then that fella ends up being an ace himself. 217 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,606 And so now we got two aces. 218 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,607 Aces. Aces. Oh, heck. I did it again. I'm stuck. 219 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,072 - Aces. - That's the word, yeah? 220 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,701 - Aces. - Aces. 221 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,177 - Ace. - Aces? Oh, now I'm in there. 222 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,528 - See? Okay, good. - Aces? Aces. 223 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,155 - I hope it's not contagious. - Aces. 224 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,621 - Aces. Aces. - Aces? Aces. 225 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,543 - Aces. - Aces. 226 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,161 - Isis. - No, that sounds like "ISIS." 227 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,667 I did say "ISIS." I didn't mean to. 228 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,588 Okay, what if we cloned the lead guitarist from Kiss? 229 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,207 - You'd have two... - Frehleys. 230 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,676 It's lovely weather we've been having, don't you think? 231 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,307 I love this time of year. 232 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,102 - All the smells of fresh leaves. - What's happening? 233 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,768 I was just pretending that the two of us were on a walk. 234 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,856 I'm trying to read. 235 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,780 I've been doing a lot of reading myself, actually, recently. 236 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,871 I read this mad story 237 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,788 about a kid who grew up in a shit part of South London. 238 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:09,077 And who got sent off to play as a child in Sunderland, of all places. 239 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:12,840 And who later was forced to rap his own verse in a charity single 240 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,378 which was called "Winner, Winner, Football Dinner." 241 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,922 That was for world hunger. 242 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,631 And I believe it was the cure. 243 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,154 How do you know all this anyway? What are you doing now? Stalking me? 244 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,139 No. I'm reading all the players' bios. 245 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,854 Rebecca's got me in to help with the team's PR. 246 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,975 Well, you leave me out of it. I'm not one of your show ponies. 247 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,402 You wear a number, trot around while people clap, 248 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,529 so I wouldn't be too high and mighty about it. 249 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,110 Later, Roy. 250 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,201 Dani Rojas! Dani, Dani! 251 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:56,751 Okay. 252 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,586 Okay, okay, I don't understand. What the heck happened, all right? 253 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,383 - Did you trip over something? - That's the thing, Coach. 254 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,797 I did not trip over something. Something tripped me. 255 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:07,927 Something not there. 256 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,479 Yeah. Okay, Doc. Let's go get him looked at. 257 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,356 Okay. You're okay. 258 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,610 God, this is all my fault. 259 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,590 I saw Dani go into the treatment room before training, 260 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:24,874 and I didn't say anything. 261 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,282 That was a mistake. 262 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,037 How could you not say anything? 263 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,679 Well, I hope you've all said your goodbyes, 264 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,764 - 'cause we're never gonna see him again. - Hey, that's enough! 265 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,459 One more person says something that me and Beard don't understand, 266 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,701 I'm gonna have one of my son's classic temper tantrums. 267 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:40,023 It's basically just him calling me a bunch of silly names, 268 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,626 you know, like, I don't know, "dummy head" or "poo-poo face" 269 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,136 or "poo-poo dummy" or... I don't know. What am I missing? 270 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,929 - "Pee-pee fingers." - "Pee-pee fingers." 271 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,682 Come on, now. Spill. 272 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,024 The treatment room is cursed. 273 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,863 - What? - It's true. 274 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,109 Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? 275 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:02,110 Well, I think it has a lot to do with grown men being embarrassed 276 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:05,283 to admit that they believe in all this hoodoo, voodoo, juju business. 277 00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,033 - Hey, I don't believe it. - Okay, good. 278 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,842 Then me and you, we're gonna go look in that room. 279 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,407 - No. - Why not? 280 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,163 Because... No. 281 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,288 Heck! Oh, man. 282 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:18,173 I mean, Dani was out there, what, an hour ago? 283 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,802 Running circles on that pitch 284 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:23,298 like a joyous raven-haired golden retriever. 285 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,471 Coach, is it true in America you guys have so many beautiful dogs in pounds 286 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,221 that some get put down for no reason? 287 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,852 That is true, Sam. 288 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,090 But it's also something a lot of female singer-songwriters are trying to change. 289 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,937 Look, we're not gonna put Dani Rojas down. I'll tell you that right now. 290 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,070 Gentlemen, I need you to gather up the rest of the fellas. 291 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,860 'Cause we got ourselves a curse to reverse. 292 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,143 What the fuck's wrong with you two? 293 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,043 The whole Richmond team's here. 294 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,036 Holy shit. 295 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,801 Hey, Coach. Jamie? 296 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,261 Okay. That's okay. 297 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,755 Hey, guys. 298 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,518 Hey, fellas. Fellas, listen up. 299 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,702 Thank you, guys, for coming out. 300 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,147 Look, I don't know a lot about this stuff, you know. 301 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,729 I don't know about curses. 302 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,864 But I do know this, they don't last forever. 303 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,240 Okay, look at the Boston Red Sox curse. That's over. 304 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,486 Chicago Cubs, over. 305 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:31,243 Heck, even Mr. Martin Scorsese finally won his Oscar. 306 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,534 But I think we can all agree that The Departed 307 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,999 is not necessarily his best work. 308 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,077 - No. - Yeah. 309 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,293 - That belongs to The Color of Money. - No, it's Goodfellas. 310 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:43,004 - Agree to disagree. - Nah, nah. It's Age of Innocence, bruv. 311 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,625 - Cape Fear. - Silence! 312 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,004 Oi, once the word gets out you lot are in here, 313 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,392 this place will turn into a fucking zoo. 314 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,635 And the answer's Mean Streets. 315 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,642 - Yeah. That's a good one. - Yeah. 316 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,313 You're all here because of this poster behind me. 317 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,442 Mr. Higgins. 318 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,860 "Are you a fast, fit, fan of football?" 319 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,730 That's solid alliteration right there. 320 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,226 Hundreds of those posters 321 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:11,448 were put up around Richmond on the 18th of November, 1914. 322 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,911 It was an invitation for young men 323 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,662 to try out to be a professional footballer. 324 00:17:16,742 --> 00:17:19,452 It said to come to our stadium that day. 325 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,380 And it was a lie. 326 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:26,798 In 1914, the war was raging. There was no tryout. 327 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,470 Just recruiters, waiting to encourage those boys to fight the fight. 328 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,762 They enlisted 400 lads that day. 329 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,479 Very few of them came home. 330 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,055 And after they enlisted... 331 00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:43,773 do you know where they went for their physical? 332 00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:46,185 Oh, Christ, it's our treatment room, isn't it? 333 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,605 What are you talking about? 334 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:51,992 Hey, no, no, no. Hey, no, fellas. No, it was not, okay? 335 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,760 It was. I'm sorry, I'm lying to ya. I don't even know why I'm lying. 336 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,971 I'm sorry. I just wanted y'all to take a breath for a second. 337 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:01,757 Wait, wait, wait. What you're telling me is that we've got 400 ghosts? 338 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,039 That's too many ghosts. 339 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,204 We cannot fight them all. 340 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,104 We're not going to have to fight them, Richard. 341 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,208 Wait, so, Coach, how do we fix this? 342 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:11,047 - We can't change the past. - No, Sam. No, we cannot. 343 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,180 But we can choose to honor it. 344 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:16,354 Now, those young men, they made the ultimate sacrifice. 345 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,519 So I think it's only fair that we sacrifice something of our own. 346 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,349 I'm gonna ask each and every one of you to go home tonight, 347 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,605 find something, an item. 348 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,857 Something personal. Something that you truly value. 349 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,112 And I want you to bring it tonight to the clubhouse, at midnight. 350 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,743 No. That is bullshit. 351 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,618 We're all going to fucking do it! 352 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,157 All right. 353 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,180 That's your captain talking right there. 354 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:45,173 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 355 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,709 Told you. 356 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:51,302 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 357 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,260 Hi, Jamie. What do you need? 358 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:58,557 Babe, I said it was important. We can't go inside your house? 359 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,429 No way! We can't. 360 00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,701 Sex was, like, the only thing that you and I was good at. 361 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,185 I've had three glasses of wine. It's Pavlovian. 362 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,266 Pavlovian? What is that? Is that the wine? 363 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:12,028 Babe, can we not at least just get inside my car? It's cold. 364 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,859 No. You don't remember how many times we shagged in this thing? 365 00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,027 So the car's also Pavlovian? 366 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,115 Think I'm getting it now. 367 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,444 So, what's up, Jamie? 368 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,157 Fucking Ted Lasso. 369 00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:26,208 He's really gotten up your bum, hasn't he? 370 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,171 Babe, he's not even a real coach. 371 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,979 Do you know what we're supposed to do tonight? 372 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,802 Apparently, some bullshit sacrifice, show-and-tell bullshit. 373 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:37,050 - Okay. You gonna go? - No, 'course I'm not. 374 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:41,852 - Is everyone else doing it? - Yeah, but I'm Jamie Tartt. 375 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,432 I'm not like everyone else. 376 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:48,146 Do you think that I could've got from a council estate in North Manchester 377 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,900 to the Premier League, 378 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,108 if I did what everyone else did? 379 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,192 No. I don't. 380 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,202 You're a battler, Jamie. 381 00:19:58,073 --> 00:19:59,452 It's really hot. 382 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,288 But maybe someday you should stop battling the people 383 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,829 that just wanna help you. 384 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,785 I feel like you want me to come in. 385 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,248 It's Pavlovian. 386 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,416 Have a good night, Jamie Tartt. 387 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,761 Come in. 388 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:27,772 Excuse me, Ms. Welton. Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Obisanya. I play for the team. 389 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:30,363 Yes, Sam. I know who you are. 390 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,528 Is there something I can help you with? 391 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,898 This is really awkward, but are you free tonight? 392 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,490 Sam, I am very flattered, but... 393 00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,334 No, no, no. It's not for romance. 394 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,210 It's just to get rid of this curse. I can understand why you misinterpreted. 395 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,499 I mean, you're so lovely 396 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:50,832 you must get romantic invitations all the time. 397 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:51,917 That's nice. 398 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,422 Gosh, I'm dealing with my own sort of curse. Anyway, thank you. 399 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,757 I'm from Nigeria, and so I feel like whenever the subject of curses comes up, 400 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:04,354 people are like, "I bet the African guy is really into this." 401 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,681 - You're obviously not? - No, no, no. I really am. 402 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,017 But that's mainly from loving Harry Potter. 403 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,730 Do you know J.K. Rowling has more money than the Queen? 404 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:12,982 I did. 405 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,265 I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world. 406 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,917 Not just because of who their family is. 407 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,993 Well, Ms. Welton, I really hope you can participate in this ceremony 408 00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,493 that we're having later tonight. 409 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:24,865 I don't think so. 410 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,412 I apologize, but I can't take no for an answer. 411 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,615 Coach thinks it will only work if the whole team is there, 412 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,707 and Ms. Welton, it's your team. 413 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,170 So you have to be there. Please. 414 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,467 At least think about it. 415 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:43,972 For you, Sam, I will. 416 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:45,595 Thank you. 417 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:50,813 See you tonight. 418 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:51,903 See ya. 419 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,738 Gentlemen, I am, by nature, a believer. 420 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,318 Ghosts, spirit guides, aliens. 421 00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:02,775 Still, I can't actually tell you 422 00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:05,275 what lives beyond our physical world and what doesn't. 423 00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,082 What I can tell you, 424 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,911 is that with the exception 425 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:12,076 of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, 426 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,752 not much lasts forever. 427 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,892 - Hey, boss. Glad you could join us. - Hello. Yeah. 428 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,926 Roy, why don't you get things started for us? 429 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:38,032 I was nine when I got scouted by Sunderland, 430 00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:41,364 and I'd never left London before. 431 00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:47,953 My granddad drove me all the way there, and it was freezing, and I was terrified. 432 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,712 I was fucking nine. Say something. 433 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:57,037 When I got there, he gave me this old blanket. 434 00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:01,627 He said it was to keep me warm and to remind me of home. 435 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,720 And that was the last time I saw him. 436 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:07,799 'Cause he'd passed away by the time I got back for Christmas, so... 437 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:13,307 That is why blankie means so much to me. 438 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,692 Did you just say "blankie"? 439 00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:17,519 No, I said "blanket." Conversation over. Sam, go. 440 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:22,105 This is a picture of the 1994 Nigerian World Cup team. 441 00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:26,237 I pledged I wouldn't take this down until I made the team myself... 442 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:28,701 and I still intend to do that. 443 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,994 This sand is from a beach in St. Barts. 444 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,711 This is the first beach where I ever... 445 00:23:41,255 --> 00:23:43,914 It's the first beach where I ever slept with a supermodel. 446 00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:51,637 - Smile because it happened. - Thanks. 447 00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:54,323 Sam and Richard coming at ya from both ends of the spectrum there. 448 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:55,393 Appreciate that. 449 00:23:55,769 --> 00:24:00,939 A girl once said I look like Clive Owen in these sunglasses. 450 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:04,240 I don't think I can do it. 451 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,756 - Come on, Nate. Throw 'em in. - You got it, Nate. Give it a toss. 452 00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:08,279 - Nice. - Good boy, Nate. 453 00:24:08,949 --> 00:24:09,989 Thank you. Thank you. 454 00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:16,917 Is that today's paper? 455 00:24:16,999 --> 00:24:20,669 There's something in there about me, as usual, and I'm trying not to care. 456 00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:23,881 Fuck the haters. 457 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,465 Word. 458 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:31,971 This is my cat's collar. She was a faithful companion for 20 years. 459 00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:35,771 Gonna miss you, Cindy Clawford. 460 00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:39,230 It's the only pen I can write my name with. 461 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,038 The keys to my Lamborghini. 462 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:04,125 How you getting home? 463 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:07,588 - All right. Everybody go? - Yeah. 464 00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:10,344 - Yeah. - No. I wanna go. 465 00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:23,144 These aren't my first boots or anything. My mum gave 'em me. 466 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,400 She was the one who got me into football in the first place. 467 00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:32,318 Her and me dad split up when I was just a sexy little baby. 468 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:36,333 She's the reason I work so hard. Just wanted to make her proud. 469 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,405 She doesn't even care if I'm any good. 470 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,077 Just wants me to be happy. Be a good lad. 471 00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:47,513 Once I got good though, me old man started showing up, didn't he? 472 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:50,259 You know, bragging to all his mates every time I scored a goal. 473 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:56,142 Calling me "soft" if I didn't... dominate, you know. 474 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:57,772 And I hated that. 475 00:25:59,268 --> 00:26:01,268 I actually fucking hated that. 476 00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:09,362 So, I made a vow to be so tough that he could never call me "soft" again. 477 00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:14,580 I wonder if sometimes... 478 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,200 I forget about making her proud. 479 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:21,962 I don't think that she would be lately. 480 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,177 Well, gentlemen... 481 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,929 What do you say we burn this crap? 482 00:26:41,018 --> 00:26:42,938 Maybe we should do this part outside. 483 00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:44,190 - Yeah. - That's a good call. 484 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,270 Yeah. That's smart. Okay. 485 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,224 Hey, would you guys mind grabbing this for me? 486 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:57,327 Excuse me, Ted. The eagle has landed. 487 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:00,538 Hey, fellas. 488 00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:04,080 I think the only way to know if the curse has been lifted or not, 489 00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:06,705 we need to ask the spirits for a sign. 490 00:27:08,503 --> 00:27:09,713 Spirits... 491 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:12,925 speak to us. 492 00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:20,181 Dani Rojas! Rojas! Dani Rojas. 493 00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:26,564 I brought a bottle of mezcal to throw into the curse fire. 494 00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,567 Hey, hey, hey. Rojas, look. 495 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,979 Whatever ghosts it were that made you trip over, 496 00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,897 they're gone now, I promise, yeah. 497 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:34,316 Crack that bastard open. 498 00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:36,453 - Yeah, boy! - Yeah. 499 00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:40,372 Jamie's not wrong. Ghosts prefer empty bottles that we've all drunk. 500 00:27:40,451 --> 00:27:41,791 Fact. 501 00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:44,039 Let us celebrate, amigos. 502 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:48,497 That is a team united. 503 00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,508 You're very lucky that everything's fine with Dani's injury. 504 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:55,048 I just never had you pegged as a gambler, Ted. 505 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:58,682 I'm not. We knew Dani's okay hours ago. 506 00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,314 In fact, it was my man Higgins' idea 507 00:28:01,390 --> 00:28:04,430 not to share that info with the boys until after the ceremony. 508 00:28:05,685 --> 00:28:07,556 - You don't say. - Yeah. 509 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,653 Putting the team first, eh, Higgins? 510 00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:11,574 Yeah, I suppose I am. 511 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,690 Hey, Coach, you joining the party or what? 512 00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,696 What do you say, boss? A lot warmer over there by the fire. 513 00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:20,873 I'll respectfully pass. 514 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,451 Higgins, coming with me? 515 00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:27,664 Off you go. 516 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:33,048 All right now, what's this going on? 517 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:35,009 What's going on here? What's going on? 518 00:28:35,089 --> 00:28:36,880 Richmond till we die. 519 00:28:36,967 --> 00:28:38,757 We're Richmond till we die. 520 00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:42,314 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 521 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:45,558 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 522 00:28:45,642 --> 00:28:48,811 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 523 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:52,066 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 524 00:28:52,148 --> 00:28:55,528 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 525 00:28:55,611 --> 00:28:58,661 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 526 00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:01,989 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 527 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:05,654 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 528 00:29:05,746 --> 00:29:08,665 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 529 00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:10,827 Morning. How y'all doin'? 530 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,338 Hey. That's cool. 531 00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:21,257 Oh, boy. Here we go. 532 00:29:24,138 --> 00:29:25,598 I got it. 533 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:29,267 Interception. Easy, gentlemen, easy. 534 00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:32,267 Good morning, honey bunch. 535 00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:34,935 You hear that buzz out there? I love it. 536 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,105 How you doing? 537 00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:39,993 You got rid of Jamie? 538 00:29:40,614 --> 00:29:42,453 Man City recalled him. 539 00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:44,551 I told you, Ted. They were concerned he wasn't playing. 540 00:29:44,576 --> 00:29:46,155 I finally got through to him! 541 00:29:46,244 --> 00:29:48,244 I mean, you saw it. 542 00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:51,880 With him and Dani, we had two aces, Rebecca. 543 00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:54,798 - I thought that was what you wanted. - Yeah, well, you thought wrong! 544 00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:57,941 I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my tone there, okay. That was rude. 545 00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:02,634 Look, I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere. 546 00:30:02,719 --> 00:30:05,598 Well, perhaps you should leave before you say something you'll regret. 547 00:30:07,348 --> 00:30:09,598 No, actually, you know what? Here you go. 548 00:30:10,184 --> 00:30:11,184 Your biscuits. 549 00:30:11,269 --> 00:30:13,150 I hope they're not as good as they usually are. 550 00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:16,900 But dang it, they're the best batch yet. I finally cracked the recipe! 551 00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:26,029 Coach? 552 00:30:30,288 --> 00:30:31,788 Football is life.